A Village Called Memory

Found a site that better suits my needs when it comes to blog sites. Visit me ^^

http://amayajdb.blogstop.com

Man this sucks!!!

My fiance, his family, and I moved to another house last week, and the whole move and everything is making everyone cranky all over the place!!! You would be too if you were moving 100lbs+ stuff around in a 110F degree weather!! After we were all done it turn out that the A/C is completely shut down, the water is about to be shut down as well, and I FEEL LIKE A PORK RIB BBQ FROM TGI FRIDAYS!!!!!

I'm doing whatever I can to keep myself cooled down and Jake (my guinea pig) cooled as well. Guinea pigs are supposed to be kept in a temperature of 60-75F, but what does he get? a nice 95F+ room!

Please someone save me!!!

Man, I wonder why my whole entire life right now is relying upon the stupid UPS. It's quite sad actually.

It's like you can't walk, sleep, eat, or even breathe until the stupid UPS comes at your door with a stupid ass smile saying, "Here's your package. Just sign here to release you temporarily from slavery until the next time you order something. Bye-bye!" and drives off hoping he won't fall out of that brownish-black UPS truck.

man....if it's this bad waiting for a couple of purses and accessories, then I wonder how bad it's gonna be when I order my bass guitar. I'll probably be dead before it arrives.

Why order you ask? 'Cause no music store around me for 20 miles has the effing ESP custom bass!!





UPS = United Postal Slaves

I'm posting here from now on......it doesn't matter though, no one comments on neither this or my xanga. But it's good to talk to myself I guess.

Very happy I bought some VK stuff, but I'm still broke and unemployed. It's the most joyful thing in the world really. Missed alot of stuff going on, and going to miss....like the Ayabie concert in Safari Sam's, Anime Expo, probably even Sac Anime if my money goes down even more..

like
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
w
h
e
e
e
!
!
!
!
|
|
|
|
v

SPLAT!!

joyness....-.-

I've been hella busy so far...senior project, college entrance essay, college applications, grades, blah blah blah.....

I've realized something during my art class....even though I'm an anime freak, I draw realism...kinda funny, no? hahahaha....well, I'm drawing a pic for the local art contest so it's gonna be tough....

started a game on Pokemon Crater....it's hella fun! you get your own team of Pokemon and stuff! so awsome! plus I have a Sneasel in my party (me fav! ^^) and I'm trying to train my Lapras to get my Boulder Badge...'cause...ya know, rock vs. water = TOTAL PWNAGE!!!!!

the IMVU homepage is trying to piss me off by not loading so.......I'm just hanging here until it's done.....

yeah....I haven't been here since Feburary so....yeah........alot of things happen since then so....I'll try to put it in a nice list

- junior year done
- summer school was a pain (but got all As in all my classes)
- FINALLY beated Kingdom Hearts 1
- got a job as a sushi waitress (well, a busser for now since I'm a rookie, then a waitress once I get good)

so yeah....and I bunch of other things but I don't feel like filling that out.....

"Take drugs or
You can choose death
Take drugs or
You can choose death

I want to die
I want to die
I want to die
I WANT TO DIE!!!!

today was ok, got some of my reading done 'cause there was nothing to do.....gotta make up a chem quiz and a geometry test -__- mah drawing skills has improved as well so that made me happy!

anime club was good, watched Wolf's Rain.......it was alright, I didn't pay attention to it 'cause I was talking with David......strangely he was looking at hentai o.O I didn't notice until he showed me a naked pic of Sesshomaru which made me go "HOLY SHIT!!!!" and turn away.......

ok.....I might be crazy but here it goes........during dance the teacher gave us the last 15 mintues to do a relaxation thingy where we get to lie down and just relax and like fall asleep and stuff......I was doing that and just thinking about Hee Jun, and then I hit that point where I can't control what I'm daydreaming so suddenly Hee Jun started saying stuff that God would say, I was like Huh? until the bell woke me up.........told my friend about it, she thinks that Good is trying to talk to me when I daydream about Hee Jun......I don't know if that made ANY sence at all.......but yeah.....it happend....

nothing much again......except that today feels SO much like Thursday....man, I wish it was Thursday........-__-

I'm like addicted to dj amuro's music now! He's just AWSOME!!!! (for u DDR n00bs out there, dj amuro is an alas of the great DJ Taka!!!!)

and.................that's mostly it..............

I hate this...........I hate ALL of this......this part of my vacation has been nothing but shit.........I'm sick with mucus coming outta my mouth each minute.................my parents and stepmom are fight each other....................I'm stressed out because of all this shit.......................if I'm on vacation, then why am I having all this instead of relaxing from school?.......................my eyes are all puffed up because of all the crying last night (and was alot of crying I tell ya.........10pm-1am non-stop)...............but looking at Hee Jun makes me feel a bit better.................he always does *weak smile*................anyway, because of the fight.......I probably won't be able to come back to AMC again..........yeah...........it sucks.................what did I do to deserve all this......?

man, I can't stop eating! I'm trying to loose weight, but instead I'm gaining it because I'm always hungry!!!!! Before I left for church last night I ate just to make sure I won't eat when I came back, but when I came back I ate like a large piece of turkey, a can of soup, and two pieces of pizza!!!!!! And I was studying for my Chemistry final, but then I had two MORE pieces of pizza while studying!!!!!!! This is mad!!!!!! >.< I think I"m developing some kind of eating disorder...........or I'm just hungry all the time................I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! I WANT IT TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man..........I'm hungry right now................NO!!!!! MUST............FIGHT..........TEMPTATION..........oh what the heck.........*runs to the fridge*

Another day of finals went by: Chemistry and Dance. Chemistry was easy and Dance was fun so I have nothing to worry about. But what really worries me is tomorrow: English and U.S. History!!! UGH! My two most hated subjects!!!!!!

I suddenly feel depressed now...............why? I don't know why.............*goes to the fridge again and eats*

changed my icon......trying to make it more "Christmasy!"

Finals are coming up closer and closer............UGH!!!! Hate it......ok, pros and cons about finals week:

Pro:
- Minimum days
- ALOT lighter backpack (if you have a backpack that is as heavy as mine, you understand this....)
- Winter Break after this!!!!

Con:
- study study STUDY
- pressure (from the work and parents -__-)
- even more pressure since it's 20% of grade
- sit in the classroom for over and hour (my butt falls asleep REALLY easily)
- my grades are on the line!!!!!

yeah........that's pretty much it................

trying to save some of my Happy Sunday and X-man videos (since it has Moon Hee Jun in it ^^), and last night I played them over and over and OVER again until I can almost memorize every dance Hee Jun does!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sighs*...........I want my Hee Jun back......................WHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE!!!!! THOSE MILITARY DOGS WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, Josh REALLY have to stop saying that Hee Jun is emo and that's the only reason I like him.......................HELLO!!!! THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel worthless right now................no one wants me, not even God..................everyone has been avoiding me even the teachers.........well, it got me outta homework but still........................if I try to say hi to somebody they just walk away and won't even look at me......................I finally got realized when this one guy made me get water on my face when I was drinking from the fountain...................*sighs*...............I'm nothing to anyone.................everyone left me, friends, parents, God, Hee Jun, everybody......................if you guys wanted to get rid of me, just tell me....................I'll leave................forever....................please someone crush me..................

I feel so sad right now............yet, happy in the inside..........weird how that works........at least the rain calms down the anger side of me...........*sighs*........I think back into the past, back when I was stupid.............I realized I haven't changed at all..........I'm still that stupid, ugly, retarded freak I was before...............haven't even changed one bit.............I know that I would be 100x happier if I was just blind, deaf, mute, and numb so I won't have to know or feel anything................no pain...........no nothing.....................

some good news (at least), the new KoRn album came out! (w00t!).............I thought they broke up...............I don't care at least they're back up and running................I just hope this album is good..............except that I can't listen to it.......................great -__-.......................I can't listen to it but my mom's boyfriend's sons can..........this whole system is screwed up...............I'm 16 and they're like 10 and they can listen to KoRn, Slipknot, Rob Zombie, and all the good stuff when I can't....................BAH!!!..............

Finals are creeping up on me, I HATE IT!!!! Man, so much stress on me right now since I'm a junior.......have to think about college and such.......I HATE THAT TOO!!!! Teachers attacking me with D grades and study guides.............I HATE THAT EVEN MORE!!!!!!!! goddamn it all..............I wish I WOULD just crash and burn.........*sighs*.........

drawing a grim reaper pic right now.............so bored.........so suicidal.............nothing can heal it....................Hee Jun..........why did you have to leave............you're the only one who can make me feel better................but you're gone now so..............*sighs*...........what am I suppost to do......?

Found this deep inside my backpack........a poem I wrote back in the beginning of freshman year...........it's cheesy but...........I'll give it to ya........

Set Me Free

Darkness covers everything I see
But poeple don't really care
I cry and weep and pleed
And yet no one can hear my soul cry

Why do these voices come to haunt me?
When I have done nothing to them
Please someone set my soul free
From this cold-hearted hell hole

Crimson tears pour out of this gash
My soul cries and they just laugh
Everything I thouch turns to ash
Don't pray for me, I'm already dead

ok, today didn't go as I planed. It turned out to be a very good day instead of a horrible day!!!

Went to Korean school, TaeJin was our teacher so alot of hilarity there!!! The rest of church was very fun too! Junior/senior class meeting was fun too, then I saw the 7th/8th grade practice their dance and it was PRICELESS!!!! No offence really but the guys in my dance class can do 5x better than that, and the guys in my dance class SUCK!!!!!! Really didn't mean to offened anyone though, it WAS funny!

Went to SunSplash (again!) for a friend's b-day party. Fun stuff, played DDR and crap.

Went to dinner, got home, homework (it wasn't that bad since.........well, you wouldn't understand but it went by FAST!) now I'm here watching some old, new, and VERY old H.O.T and Hee Jun videos, and trying to avoid the one when he leaves since I'm in a good mood right now and I want good images of Hee Jun NOT sappy, horrible, depressing ones........I'm saving that for the weekdays when I'm depressed...........

I hate preps! This morning after second period, one just like pushed me into the wall and started laughing at me calling me a gothic bitch. Then after lunch another one just jumped into a large puddle and it hit me so they were all laughing. THEN after the second to the last peroid, two of them squished me into the vending machine when I was getting a soda and now I have a headache from that. Grrrr.................I hate preps so much......but I can stand Nicole and Lina..........they're ok...............goddamn it, I hate Folsom preps -__-

aaaahhh........some nice loud Dir en Grey music

I made this in the rememberance of Hee Jun............I miss him so much..........this was his last song before he left............and this song was deticated to his fans (which is also me!!!!) so............yeah, I miss him so..............

Yeah hi..........since I have friends here that don't have a xanga, I just made an account here too so you guys know what's going on. You won't miss anything, this entry is gonna be the same thing as my xanga except this part and now you guys get to comment on it!!! Yay!

I stole this from my friend!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!! |>|-|33|2 /\/\1 |_337 5T33|_1/\/G!!!!!

It's raining outside............love it so much..........this whole week has been nothing but rain................yes.....^ ^ I wish it would rain forever...............either that or I could move to Seattle...................

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Michelle
2. Nikki
3. HeeJun freak

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. DarkNinja657
2. Moon Hee Jun YuhJah
3. NikkiPark657

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My hair
2. My weird eyes (since I can so weird stuff with them!!!)
3. My hands (it's so weird!!! >.<)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My face (chinese eyes, big nose, getting attacked by pimples, etc.) -__-
2. My "big boned" body
3. Mostly my whole self

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. The future
2. If anything bad happens to my Hee Jun (and I mean ANYTHING!!!!!)
3. Bugs, insects, etc. (excluding ants, dragonflies, flies, and a few more)

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Pen/Pencil (for poems and fanfics)
2. Hee Jun and H.O.T albums
3. Computer

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My old and favorite plain black Old Navy jacket (had for 2 years!!! >.<)
2. My Moon necklace (reminds me of Iori Yagami and Moon Hee Jun.....get it???? Moon Hee Jun and I have a Moon necklace!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!)
3. Silver cross earrings

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. MOON HEE JUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. H.O.T!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Dir en Grey!!!!!!!!!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Village Called Memory - Moon Hee Jun
2. G. Silent Conflict - Moon Hee Jun
3. Alone - Moon Hee Jun

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Repect
2. Comfort (in the inside)
3. Someone who is there when I need a shoulder to cry on

2 TRUTHS 1 LIE:
1. I HEART MY HEE JUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I know every H.O.T dance move
3. I know every Moon Hee Jun dance move until he stopped at "Legend" (then he just headbangs! >.<)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Hair
2. Eyes (I want to look deep into it)
3. Neck

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Imitating H.O.T and Moon Hee Jun dances
2. Video Games
3. LOVING HEE JUN!!!!!!!!!!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. GET HEE JUN OUT OF THAT ARMY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Watch some H.O.T music videos (can't because have to get ready for school)
3. Acually SEE Hee Jun face to face, person to person

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Painter
2. Singer
3. Veterinarian

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. DAEHANMINGUK!!!!!!!!!!! (Korea!!!!!!)
2. Japan
3. Europe (mostly Germany, Austria, Swiss, Holland, and maybe England)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Meet Moon Hee Jun face to face person to person
2. Do a hilarious gag skit with H.O.T
3. Take care of a baby tiger for a day >.<

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I do guy dances instead of girl dances (I really HATE girl dances……too slutty for me)
2. Like to get into fights
3. Obsessed with violence, blood, and gore

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I HEART MOON HEE JUN!!!!!! HEE JUN FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.< (does that answer your question??)
2. Like wearing blue, white, and clear nail polish with glitter on them
3. I squeal, faint, jump up and down, and some other stuff when I see my favorite hot guys (OH!!!! MOON HEE JUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. MOON HEE JUN!!!!!!!!!! (isn’t it obvious???)
2. Any of the other H.O.T members (OH HEART!!!)
3. Toshiya of Dir en Grey (*coos* >.<)